High Expectations

It's amazing what conversation with other mamas will do for an anxious/stressed out mama. 

First, I was reminded yesterday that I didn't choose or cause my anxiety, so stop feeling guilty when I struggle.  That is a good reminder because feeling guilty for my anxiety is just another step backwards.  To remember that I have no reason to feel guilty helps me more forward a bit.

Second, I was reminded by another mama with three kids, that many of the things that I struggle with are normal (though I have a few other things going on that most don't...).  It's normal to struggle with being able to keep up every day, to get frustrated and yell when the kids get too loud, to struggle with the desire to do everything that I want and not be able to at this season, to want to keep the house clean and the laundry caught up but not be able to, to struggle with wanting to play with the kids, etc.  I have three kids, ages 4 and under... and I'm struggling through some other things.  She said "give yourself a pass."  She said to literally make a "pass" and put it somewhere where I can see it often.

Third, that same friend reminded me that it's okay if we eat in the dining hall some if it means that it will help me mentally (by getting out, seeing friends, and not having to worry about cooking every once in a while).  She said it's better to eat junk and be mentally okay than to eat healthy and struggling.  It's not worth it.  She reminded me that balance is key... eat in the dining hall some and eat healthy food at home the rest of the time. When Levi gets a little older and we have more "normalcy," I can get back to cooking more and more from scratch.  It will come.  It's not going to be like this forever.

And... give all of it to the Lord, daily.  He will carry me.  He will give me the strength that I need.  He will help me through when I don't think I will get through. 

All of these things I know, but it's good to hear again and again and again.  When I'm in the moment of my anxiety "attacks," it's hard to remember anything that I would remember when I'm having a good moment.  I need all the reminders I can get these days :).