Yes, I realize that I already wrote a post today, and here I am posting again. I'll be honest, since I wrote my post earlier I've been thinking a lot.
You see, I am fed lies from Satan, and I begin to believe them.
I believe that because I struggle with anxiety and depression, I must not have joy.
I believe that because I struggle with anxiety and depression, I must just be a self-centered person who doesn't care about others.
I believe that the way I feel doesn't matter and I should just stop talking about it.
I believe that I annoy others by how I feel.
I believe that I should force myself to feel another way, and if I don't, there's something wrong with me.
And all of these thoughts/feelings that I have are lies. Just another way to be down and not able to focus on serving Jesus.
I don't enjoy anxiety. In fact, most days I wonder if I'll ever live without it. And that is very difficult to grasp. I constantly hope that some day it'll just go away, but the reality is that it may not. What do I do with that?
I honestly don't know. I am sitting here in the midst of yet another anxiety-filled evening, and I wonder... why? I wonder how it affects my family. My friends. My co-workers.
I make changes and hope that the change will help. Then I realize... it's not circumstances... it's ME.
I am praying that God will lead me in the right direction so that I can have peace once and for all. But I struggle with having faith that He will do that. Can you pray with me?