Sunday, October 20, 2013

Believing Lies- Today's Post #2

Yes, I realize that I already wrote a post today, and here I am posting again.  I'll be honest, since I wrote my post earlier I've been thinking a lot.

You see, I am fed lies from Satan, and I begin to believe them.

I believe that because I struggle with anxiety and depression, I must not have joy.

I believe that because I struggle with anxiety and depression, I must just be a self-centered person who doesn't care about others.

I believe that the way I feel doesn't matter and I should just stop talking about it.

I believe that I annoy others by how I feel.

I believe that I should force myself to feel another way, and if I don't, there's something wrong with me.

And all of these thoughts/feelings that I have are lies.  Just another way to be down and not able to focus on serving Jesus.

I don't enjoy anxiety.  In fact, most days I wonder if I'll ever live without it.  And that is very difficult to grasp.  I constantly hope that some day it'll just go away, but the reality is that it may not.  What do I do with that?

I honestly don't know.  I am sitting here in the midst of yet another anxiety-filled evening, and I wonder... why?  I wonder how it affects my family.  My friends.  My co-workers.

I make changes and hope that the change will help.  Then I realize... it's not circumstances... it's ME.

I am praying that God will lead me in the right direction so that I can have peace once and for all.  But I struggle with having faith that He will do that.  Can you pray with me?

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