Family Photos

We had two photo sessions with Rod from Cordsen Photography, and the pictures turned out WONDERFUL.  I wanted to post them all on here, but that wouldn't be possible, so I tried to choose the best ones :).

Remember

Right before Robert and I got married, Joey wrote a song for me.  I appreciated it at the time, but it means so much more now than before.  Here are the lyrics:

Remember
written by: Joey Wisian 

Do you remember not so long ago
When it was us against the world when the world left us alone
And I could never shield you from all the hurt you’d know
And I could never show you things inside I just can’t show.

Do you remember how I would linger on that ledge
And how you would always be there just to pull me from the edge
And could never repay you, in forever or a day
‘Cause now I see how God has brought a smile to your face

Chorus
And now as you find safety in his arms
I look into your eyes and find my way to God
And as I see my little sister turn and walk away
I know that for forever will we have our love today

I’ve lived every day just trying so hard to be
The one you used to know, the one you used to see
‘Cause knowing I’m your brother is good enough for me
With every single battle fought I feel the hope returning

Repeat Chorus

It’s not so often that I feel a happy day
But this won’t turn to sadness and this won’t turn to pain
And I know life’s not easy, ‘cause I can see your pain
And when other friends may leave you, I’ll be there in the end

Family Tragedy

My brother, Joey, passed away on Monday, November 30th.  It is a complete shock and we are all still trying to wrap our minds around everything.

Joey had a wonderful heart.  He loved people more deeply than anyone else I know.  Too deeply.  He was a very intelligent young man and thought about things in a whole different way than anyone else.  He was good at anything he picked up.  He loved the guitar and rock music, wrote many of his owns songs and poems, and he loved to draw and was really good at it.  He was a great uncle to his niece and nephew, and was excited that his new nephew was going to be named after him (Levi's middle name is going to be Joseph).  Karis loved her uncle Joey.  One day, I found a picture of her Uncle Joey in her shoe.  This was the last time that Joey was in the hospital.  I guess she thought it would make them closer.  She was worried about him.  It's amazing how much love a little one can have for a person.
It's going to be a rough Christmas this year.  I have peace that he's with Jesus, but we miss him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanksgiving Week

This week has been one of craziness and rest all in the same breath.  It started with having a Thanksgiving meal at my Meemaw's (my dad's side of the family) last Sunday.  Not everyone could be there on Thursday, so she just decided to have a meal on Sunday.  Then, we hung out with some great friends that evening and didn't get home til after 11:00 (which is late for us!).  It was a great day, though.

Monday we had another Thanksgiving meal, here with our camp family.  That was another great meal!  We took Karis to my mom's because she and Karis needed to finish a project that they started, and Robert, Ethan, and I went to Whole Foods to get some groceries.  It was fun :).

Tuesday we spent the day doing NOTHING.  We didn't even get out of our pajamas til early afternoon :).  It was wonderful.  We watched t.v., did some things online, and just hung out.  It was the perfect day before going out of town.

Wednesday we drove to Abilene (Robert's family) and it was a pretty stressful drive.  Ethan does NOT travel well.  He cries/whines/screams almost the whole time.  It makes a person crazy after a while :).  It took us more than an extra hour to get there. 

Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, was great.  We all pitched in and made our various "pieces" of the meal, and it was WONDERFUL.  We spent the rest of the day just resting and enjoying each others' company.  The rest of the time that we were there, the men worked outside on some things, and the women and children just hung out and rested.  It was a great time for me to get some naps in and just be.  It was much more relaxing than the usual trip out of town :).  I'm very thankful to Robert's mom and sister for allowing me the opportunities to take a nap!

We decided to come home late Saturday so that the kids would sleep most of the way, and it worked out!  It was a very stress-free, quiet trip home.  Robert and I had great "talk time."  I love quiet trips home.

Yesterday, Sunday, Robert and I ended up sleeping too late to go to church :(.  But, that afternoon we were able to go to town all alone, with-out the kids!  Our friend Christa here at camp watched our kids so that we could run errands alone.  We ate Schlotzky's for lunch (and had a wonderful Cinnabon cinnamon roll!), and ran many errands.  We bought the new car seat (with a 20% off coupon!), re-newed our Sam's membership, bought several Christmas gifts (especially this kids'!), some groceries, etc.  Although, we have to take the car seat back today because it's broken :(.  But, oh well.  It was a great, relaxing time of shopping when normally it's completely stressful :).

I would show some pictures of Thanksgiving, but I just realized that they are mostly of the food :).  I don't have many pictures of the people that were present!  I will get some from family and post them soon!

Gratituesday: Thanksgiving Week!

I am going to begin this weekly series, starting today.  I "stole" it from another blog that I read, and I think it is a great series to do because it helps to focus on all that God has given us. This week is a great place to start, considering it is Thanksgiving week :).

Just like every year, I have so much to be thankful for. But, this year I feel like God has shown me more and more all the blessings that I have and how much others don’t have. So, despite any “hard things” about life (which most hard things that I have gone through aren’t that hard, really), I want to share all that God has blessed me with.
I am thankful for…

• A personal relationship with my Creator and Lord. Because He took on my sins, I am forgiven and washed clean of my sin. He loves me just the way I am. He created me just the way I am. My desire is to show my love for Him through the way that I love others. I fall short of this all the time, but His grace is sufficient.
• A wonderful husband who God created just for me. Not only does he work VERY hard to put a roof over our heads, he has a servant heart, he loves Jesus, and helps take care of the house and kids. He loves me for who I am and doesn’t ever get annoyed with the little quirky things that I do :).
• Beautiful children and another one on the way. Despite the daily challenges of having little ones, I wouldn’t change a thing. The are beautiful, funny, intelligent, playful, and so loving. I might be biased, but I think they are the best kids in this world :).
• A roof over my head, electricity, water, and all the things that we often take for granted, which many people don’t have. God has also allowed us to have some “wants,” and instead of being thankful for them, I often want more. My prayer is that this will continue to slowly change!
• The ability to stay home after I have this baby. This is something that I have hoped and longed for and never thought would happen. God has provided a way for us to pay off a lot of our debt… otherwise this wouldn’t be happening. It will still be tight, but I look forward to that challenge :).
• Wonderful family and friends. I couldn’t ask for a more loving family that is so involved in our lives. We have wonderful friends who love us for who we are and often help take care of us and our family. We have the ability to be part of a family that isn’t only by blood, but also by service to God- our camp family.
• This may be silly, but I am thankful for the ability to have gained a LOT of knowledge on how to better take care of my family. From learning about nutrition, to learning how to make things from scratch, to learning about things like cloth diapers and natural or homemade cleaners and products, to learning so much about homebirth and natural childbirth. These things are my passion and I can’t imagine not knowing about them :). Of course, they are trivial compared to the other things, but I thought I would share this as well.

Sometimes we get so caught up in life that we don’t take the time to just sit and think about all the good things that God has allowed us to have. I hope that you will sit down and think about all that God has given you and truly be thankful.

Changes in Our Hearts

I wrote this last week, but felt the need to pray for a little while before I published it :).  Robert and I decided that we should, so here it is!

These past few weeks have been ones of deep thought, prayer, and seeking counsel.  It started with the thought that we might need to make a huge change in where we are in life, and it ended in the decision that we needed to make a huge change in our hearts. 

A few weeks ago at church, a missionary from Serbia came and spoke about what they are doing there.  Robert was actually off that day, so he got to hear as well.  He spoke of the different ministries that they have going on there, the state of the country, history, the Orthodox Christian religion, etc.  Then, they began talking about a camp that they started there.  It is a camp that serves children from a near-by refugee camp.  These kids have grown up in the Orthodox Christian church and have never even heard the gospel.  Their church was very traditional and the services were actually not even in their own language.  It is a small, family-style camp, and these kids got to hear about Jesus for the first time ever.  Many have never even understood why they celebrated Christmas.  After that service I told our pastor that Robert wanted to move to Serbia now (I was really just trying to blame him for feelings that I was having!).  Through the next few weeks we sought counsel from a few people (just a few… we didn’t want this to be something that we told everyone, then decide that it wasn’t going to happen!), prayed, talked, etc.  We talked about the difficulties of missions (especially after talking to my best friend who is a missionary), the fact that it doesn’t matter how hard it is if that’s where God has called us, the timing of becoming a missionary (takes 2-3 years normally), training, language, culture, leaving our family, etc.  We talked about if God wasn’t calling us to Serbia, why this stirring in our hearts??  It was a lloonngg few weeks and it was tough to think about anything else.  I read a lot in God’s word, read in several books (including Crazy Love!), and just journaled my feelings through this.

Through all of this, we came to the conclusion that IF God IS calling us to foreign missions, it’s not time right now.  We talked about the fact that we can’t assume that we will go to another country and share Jesus if we don’t do it here.  We talked about how we can’t expect to live a more simple life in another country if we don’t do it here (well, we do live simply, but we feel like we can do this even more…).  We can’t expect to put others before ourselves if we don’t do it here.  We can’t expect to “do missions” if we don’t do it here.  Yes, we live at a Christian camp in which many people come to know Jesus, but ultimately we focus on our own comforts, our own frustrations, our own desires, and our own lives.  We focus on what we want and “need,” and not what others need. 

It was a hard reality to face.  It’s not that we think our salvation comes through these things (salvation is through Jesus’ death and resurrection alone!), but if we truly love Jesus the way we say we do, it should be more evident in our lives. 

I’m not saying that we won’t ever think about our own comforts, desires, frustrations, etc, but our goal is to learn to put others before ourselves.  How can we do this?  We’re still trying to figure this out.  We are praying for opportunities to love others before ourselves.  We do feel that it should start where we are… with our family, our friends, the people around us.  Stop griping and complaining.  Stop thinking about all that we want and desire, and learn to just love others where they are.  Stop thinking about how we are “wronged” in this life (because nothing in life is fair… thanks to sin) and think about all that God has blessed us with.  We also need to love others here at camp, serve others here at camp, be an ear for others here at camp, put others first here at camp, and stop focusing on how hard this life is.  Then, it should radiate out into the community.  How can we serve others who need Jesus in our community?  We are looking into ways to do this over the holidays because Robert and I both have lots of time off.  We want our family to view Christmas as a time of giving and loving others, not receiving.  Of course, Robert and I have talked about, how can we serve others in our community even when Robert is working a lot of hours (some seasons are busier than others)?  We always use his hours as an excuse to not serve people outside of here, but we can’t use that as an excuse because no matter where we are, there is always something that could stand in the way. 

I’m also not saying that we need to “busy” ourselves with “serving,” only to forget why we’re doing it.  That would be legalistic.  That is the opposite of what Jesus has called us to.  We want to take it one day at a time and just learn to love others.  It’s a process that happens the more we get to know Jesus and His heart.  How do we get to know Jesus and His heart?  By spending time with Him.  By praying.  By reading and studying His word.  Daily.  The more we read His word, the more we know His heart and our heart becomes like His.  I am far from perfect and there are always going to be things that I struggle with.  I am always going to want to put myself first because of the sin that so entangles me.  But, again, the more I get to know Jesus, the less that will be a struggle. 

Decisions about my Dilemmas

As I have written many times, I have a few dilemmas that really cause some stress for me.  I have done so much research on things and I want to always do what's best for my family, but I find that very difficult much of the time because of money and time.  I put a lot of pressure on myself and expect a lot.  I had a long conversation with someone that I trust about all of my dilemmas, and she gave me some great advice that will really help me to just move forward and stop stressing and worrying about things that I can't change.  Some of this advice has been given to me over time in bits in pieces from different people, but the way that it was explained by this one momma really put it all together for me and it just seems to make the most sense now :). 

Several of the things that I have had a LOT of trouble deciding on are:

• Eating in the dining hall: it's free, I don't have to cook or clean up, and we get to spend time with Robert and others here at camp.  But, it's not always the healthiest (at least it's not always what we would eat at home).  The quality and healthiness of it has improved within the past few years, but when there's a lot of kids here (up to 800), there's only so much you can feed that many people!  Another issue is that it has always been hard to plan for because we don't know sometimes when they will have dinner there.  We sometimes plan to cook meals at home and end up eating in the dining hall, or we'll plan to eat in the dining hall then they don't end up serving that night, which means we usually go to town to eat because most meals that we make at home require some planning ahead. 
  
• Raw milk versus organic milk versus conventional milk:  Raw milk is best, but it has been hard to find and it is expensive.  Organic milk is really expensive too, and I just haven't found one that I like (the one that I can "afford" has a bad after taste).  Conventional milk is one of the worst things to consume, BUT many brands now sell a hormone free type (Borden, Oak Farms, etc).
• Grass fed/pastured meat and poultry versus "natural" versus organic versus conventional (LOTS of options!): Grass fed/free range is VERY expensive, but so much better for you.  Natural meats are hormone free and aren't usually as expensive as organic or pastured... but they aren't organic or pastured.  Organic is usually really expensive and not even grass fed, but I can find it somewhat cheaper at Costco.   Conventional is just bad, but cheap.  
• Buying in bulk (large bags of things) versus buying as we need things: bulk can save money over time, but it takes a big chunk of money at once, which is hard to come by.
• Organic fruits and veggies versus conventional: Organic is better, conventional is cheaper (obvious dilemma there).
  

These are the things that I plan to put into place (or just continue!):

• Dining hall:  We have decided to just plan to eat lunch there.  This way, I can actually plan and budget for all breakfasts and dinners and I know that we will always eat those at home.  And, I always know that lunch will be in the dining hall which will just be part of our daily routine.  Lunch is always served... even when there aren't guests here.  We will get to see Robert while he's working, and we will get to be out of the house and around others.  Robert plans to just wait to eat dinner when he gets home, so I will probably try to give some healthy snacks in the afternoon and serve dinner later (when Robert has to serve in the dining hall that night).  Summers may be a whole other story since it will almost be too stressful to take all three kids to the dining hall, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. 
  
• Milk: I've found a place in Georgetown that sells raw milk that isn't much more than the organic milk that I buy (50 cents more).  This place is inspected by the health department every month, so I trust it completely.  My thoughts are that this is one of those things that is worth buying, so my goal is to start buying enough for a month at a time and freeze it.  I have been taught how to thaw it and have been told that it tastes the same after it's thawed.  I will really have to work on rationing it so that we don't end up using it all before I can buy more, but that will be a good discipline.  If for some reason I need more, I will just buy what I can buy.  I will most likely just focus on hormone free.  I can't let it be a stressful thing.  I hope to buy a gallon or two to make things like yogurt, kefir, etc, but that's just my goal.  We will see what happens :).  Oh, and I can try to pour the cream off the top to make butter (like I did when I was able to buy non-homogenized milk).  Butter I will just buy what I can (probably at Costco), cheese we will probably continue to buy the hormone free kind that we have been buying, and for now, I will just keep buying Stoneyfields farms yogurt. 
• Meat/Poultry/Eggs: I have decided that for the most part, conventional is out except for Jennie'O ground turkey (it's at least hormone free).  I will do my best to buy natural meats/poultry from Sprouts and sometimes organic from Costco if we can that month.  As much as we would prefer buying grass fed/pastured, it's just so much more expensive.  I will buy free range eggs from the store, but they aren't too expensive.  The biggest thing is that we've decided to cut down our meat consumption.  We will find more ways to eat beans, eggs, and use other sources of protein.  We will use less meat even in the meat recipes.  Robert will most likely shoot at least one deer (maybe even two), which would provide PLENTY of meat for our family (ground meat, stew meat, steaks, etc).  I would still buy some chicken to have variety here and there, and maybe some breakfast meats here and there, but that would be all I would have to buy.  So, we're PRAYING that he shoots one or two deer :). 
• Buying in Bulk: I plan to buy a few large bags of things that we will use ALL the time when I get my stipend from school (wheat berries, sucanat, beans, rolled oats, rice) from Sun Harvest (because this is the cheapest way to buy in bulk that I have found), then the rest I will buy one thing in bulk per month.  That way, when I run out, I will just have that one thing to buy and not everything at once.  It really saves a lot over time to buy this way.  It'll also be nice to know that if there is a month in which we really can't afford to buy much food, we will almost always have lots of food in the pantry.  I also plan to buy things like diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, and tomato paste in bulk at Costco because they carry an organic brand that is much cheaper than buying individual cans at the store (about the same price as non-organic).  I plan to buy trash bags, freezer bags, toilet paper, laundry detergent (maybe... if I don't go back to making my own), peanut butter, frozen veggies, olive oil, maple, juice, and coffee in bulk at Costco.  After all of this, there's not much left to buy :).  I will just shop at Sprouts for the rest.  They have great sales every week, and Wednesdays are double ad day!  So, I will hopefully be able to shop there on Wednesdays!  HEB will be the the place that I go to if I just need a few things here and there.  I really don't like HEB much... 
• Fruits/Veggies: If I buy frozen, I will buy organic (Costco sells these in bulk); fresh I will just pick and choose depending on what we buy that month.  I also plan to plant a garden again this year; we'll see how it goes.  That will save a lot and is much better.  I just don't know how it will go with three babies :).   
  

Anyway... I realize that many people have similar dilemmas... that's why I like to share (well, and I just like to think/write about these things!).  The biggest thing that we want to focus on is eating whole foods and making things homemade.  Things that I will definitely make homemade are bread, tortillas, biscuits, muffins, granola, granola bars, all meals, protein bars, any desserts, etc.  I will do my best to not worry so much about all of this right after I have the baby, but my goal is to try to make a lot of things to freeze so that I can just pull them out of the freezer when I need it (as I have shared before).  

I plan to put in place once a month freezer cooking, once a month freezer baking, crock pot meals, etc so that I am just focusing in on those things all at once to make the rest of the month easier. 

I will begin sharing more and more recipes and my meal plans soon :).