First week at home

This week has definitely been interesting! We found out Sunday that Ethan was a little jaundice, and the midwife told us about some signs to look for and if he showed any of those signs, to call the pediatrician's office. So, after two nights of absolutely no sleep because he cried all night, his pee being yellow with orange spots in it, and his skin being orange and his eyes being yellow, we decided to go in and see the pedi on Tuesday. We found out that he was very dehydrated (the orange was crystallized urine) and he was more jaundice than they are comfortable with. He had also lost too much weight... he went all the way down to 7 pounds 1 ounce (from 8.3). So... we were told to start supplementing formula and to make sure he was out in the sun several times a day. Had his count been a little higher they would have had us go into the hospital for 24/7 lights for his jaundice. I'm thankful that it wasn't that high. We started supplementing, and immediately he started sleeping. He has been so much more content. He obviously wasn't getting enough. But... I am doing everything that I can to get my milk production up. I am going to exhaust all possibilities before I stop breastfeeding. I am completely okay with breastfeeding and supplementing, but unfortunately, he's getting confused and is starting to refuse breastfeeding... so we are going to try using a supplementation system and see how he does with that. It's a tube that is hooked up to a bottle that you put on your breast so that as he's breastfeeding, he's also taking in formula through a tube. That way, there's no nipple confusion. I am also taking an herbal supplement to get production up. We'll see what happens. I may just be someone who can't produce enough. I had a hard time with Karis, and so I know that there is that possibility. It's frustrating, though, because there are some people who have no trouble at all... I feel in some ways that my body doesn't work right. I know that it's okay and life goes on, but I want this pretty bad... I'll just keep trying and know that it's not the end of the world if we have to do formula... If I don't have that mindset, I'll stress myself out too much and it'll never work!

Karis has been taking to Ethan really well. She has her moments, but I also have to remember that she's a 2 year old, and they just throw fits no matter what :). She always says "that's my brother!" or "baby brother" or "baby Ethan!" She tries to give him kisses and put his blanket on him. She already wants to take care of him :). It is real hard, though, trying to split my time between the two of them because a newborn takes a lot more of it than a toddler. So, I have her help me as much as she can and I try to include her in most things. It gets tough when both of them need my attention at the same time. I'll get there, though! I have moments when I am sad, though, that she's not a baby anymore. She grew up so stinkin fast. It seems like yesterday she was a newborn.

Ethan Robert

Ethan Robert was born at 3:19 am on June 14th! He was 8 pounds 3 ounces and 20 inches long! He is beautiful :). The labor was only 5 hours long. It was pretty intense, but I wouldn't change a thing about it. I would do it again! I have been feeling wonderful since and think this is the best recovery I could have asked for.

I will write my whole birth story later, but for now, here are some pictures!

Hormonal Pregnant lady and other random things...

So the other day when I blogged I was a little hormonal :). The main person that I was frustrated with doesn't even read my blogs... I just wanted to share my frustration! I am better now... I have gone on with life as normal for now, and when it is time, it is time! I had an appointment with my midwife today, and everything pretty much looks the same as it did this weekend. No more progression. She doesn't think I will progress any more, though, until I actually go into labor. Ethan looks real good- his heart rate is still perfect, the same as it has been; great position, real low, moving a lot! I am looking forward to the day that I get to hold him!

Robert was off yesterday, and when he has a day off, it is go, go, go! We recently decided that we wanted to see if it would be possible to trade in his truck, because we were worried that it wouldn't really work for us as a family vehicle. It only had 3 doors, and the backseat was too small really to put 2 car seats in it. It also didn't have any cargo space... groceries had to go in the front seat! We had to sell the van a few weeks ago in order to pay for some things, plus, we were a little nervous about the condition of it. Robert and I both weren't sure how reliable it was. So, anyway, we have been looking online for a week or so at small suv's. Yesterday morning we went to Carmax to see if it would even be a possibility to trade in his truck and get a vehicle with about the same payment (and hopefully better gas mileage). We found one that we wanted, got approved, and decided to sit on it for a little while. We were going to have to go home to meet my mom (to take Karis with her), then go back into Austin anyway to meet my brother in law for dinner. We did some math and decided that it would work well, so we traded the truck in last night for a 2004 Mazda Tribute. It is SOOO much better for our family. The back seat is actually big enough for 2 car seats, there is cargo space in the back, and there are 4 doors (all things that didn't use to be a big deal!). Now I won't have to climb over Karis to put Ethan in his seat! It also has better gas mileage than his truck (23/28 verses 16/20), so we won't be guzzling gas quite as fast. The payment is only like $20 more a month than the truck, but we'll make that up in gas! Now we're down to one, reliable vehicle. Things are coming together! The infant car seat base is already strapped in and ready to go :). I am, though, having to learn to drive manual. Robert was set on that being one of the specifics that we were looking for. They tend to have better gas mileage and the transmissions last longer than automatics. And if we have problems with the transmission, Robert can fix it himself. So, I'm having to learn how to drive it. It's fun, and I've only killed it a few times :).

Anyway... now that you've heard way too much about things that you don't care about as much as I do... :).

I'm bored and waiting for my mom to bring Karis home. I'm not used to being alone this long!

I think I might go take a nap!

He's not due yet!

After the weekend that I had, many people have had opinions about what should be happening right now. One comment that I have heard several times is that if I had gone to the hospital, I could've had the baby by now. That's not necessarily true! If I would have gone in, they would have sent me home because I wasn't really progressing. Or, if they would have admitted me, they would've given me pitocin and it wouldn't have worked because my body wasn't ready! I would've ended up with an unnecessary c-section. All that has been happening is warm up labor... it's my body getting ready for the real thing. Once I go into labor, it's going to go fast because my body is doing a lot of work, slowly and without too much pain/discomfort! I'm not even due for another 12 days! It's still early. Ethan is not ready to come out. If he was, he would have come by now! He is in a great position and is very low. His heart beat has been perfect... there's no concern with his safety. It is completely normal for some women to have days to weeks of warm up contractions. I was lucky with Karis and I didn't. This time, I am having it, and it's frustrating, but it's more frustrating that people keep telling me their opinions! It makes me constantly feel like I've done something wrong, when I'm just allowing my body to do what it's going to do! My labor hasn't started yet, and when it does truely start, I will have him! When he's born, I'll let you know!

I was in labor... or so I thought!

Friday at about 1:30, I started having what I would call the normal braxton hicks contractions that I have been having for weeks (constantly). When they continued and became timeable, I decided to go walking to see what would happen. They still continued and were 3-5 minutes apart. They weren't really painful yet, so I wasn't sure if maybe they were just timeable "warm up contractions." I decided to call my midwife and see what she thought. Because they had been timeable for SEVERAL hours by that point, she told me to stop walking and take a bath, then lay down (so I don't have a baby before she got here). She got here at about 9:00 and I was still having timeable contractions, and they got a little more intense. But, I was waiting for them to really start hurting (like they did with Karis). She checked the baby and he was doing great. She checked me and I was only dialated to a 2 and 75 % effaced.

We just waited them through. She told me to try to get some rest while they weren't real painful so that I had energy. They continued and at about 2:00 am started feeling the way they did when I was in labor with Karis, so I thought I was really going to have a baby soon. I got so tired (after all of the walking, etc that I had done all day) that I doze off for a little while. When I woke up, the contractions weren't as strong... They continued for SEVERAL more hours, sometimes more intense and "crampy," sometimes less intense. They eventually dwindled to just tightening again and spread out. My midwife checked me and found that I was 100% effaced and 3 cm dialated, but decided to go ahead and go home because the contractions had almost stopped. She gave me strict orders to call her as soon as they became "stronger, longer, and closer together" because she thinks it will then go really fast. She said that my body has already done a lot of work (and it wasn't that hard!). So, now we just wait... She thinks it will happen in the next few days (I think yesterday she thought it could have still happened over night), but I haven't had a contraction since last night before I went to bed. So, we'll see! I LOVE that I was able to labor at home and have a midwife tell me what was going on. Homebirth is AWESOME!

Your grace is sufficient for me

Your grace is sufficient for me
Your strength is made perfect
When I am weak
And all that I cling to
I lay at Your feet
Your grace is sufficient for me

-Shane and Shane

I am so thankful that Jesus' grace is sufficient and that He loves me for who I am. His grace is sufficient for all the ways that I mess up daily. I've been so focused on having this new baby and even on taking care of my family, that I have completely neglected to be focused on Him. Even though those are good things, they are not Jesus, and He should be my focus. I've been spending time with Him most days, but it's just going through the motions... it's not to have a more intimate relationship with Him. My prayer is that as I am beginning a new journey of being a mom of 2, that I won't neglect my most important relationship.



Holy design
this place in time
that I might seek and
find my God
my God

Lord I want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion
over You and only You
Lord i want to yearn

Your joy is mine
yet why am I fine
with all my singing and
bringing grain
in light of Him

oh You give life and breath
through Him You give all things
in Him we live and movethat's why I sing

-Shane and Shane

37 weeks

I am now 37 weeks and 1 day pregnant, and I am miserable! This heat is killing me... I don't know how anyone would make it to August if that's when they were due! I'm also starting to have a LOT of "warm up" contractions and pains. I didn't have all of this with Karis, so it's really confusing much of the time. But, my midwife says that until they are timeable, it's not labor. When they become timeable, call her. So far they have been sporatic. She says that it's really normal to have this more with labors after the first baby. So, I guess it's normal! It's just frustrating.

I don't have much energy most days, but there are some in which I get up and start cleaning and can't stop... so I guess I just need to take it one day at a time. I know that in a few weeks I will get to hold this baby in my arms, so I'm trying to just remember that I can't be pregnant forever. I'm prepared in just about every way possible (which, with homebirth, there is a lot more preparation), so now all I can do is wait. God has amazed me at how He has provided everything that we could possibly need for the birth of this baby. A few months ago I was ready to take the credit card out and buy everything because I thought we wouldn't be able to afford everything we needed. I felt very convicted about that and cut up the card. Ever since then, He has provided abundantly. Apparently all he was waiting for was for me to give up that control and trust him.

Here are some pics of me preggo at about 37 weeks: (they are a bit blurry- the flash was off because of the mirror)