I am now 8 weeks pregnant (it seems like I have been pregnant a LOT longer!). The nausea has hit, but I'm trying to keep myself busy and eat often so that it's not too bad. I've been craving a lot of unhealthy foods... but I find that if I eat often, I tend to eat a little healthier. Some things that I do like to eat a lot of is crackers, popsicles, pickles, etc... Popsicles always make me feel better! :) They aren't super healthy, but it could be worse. I have also been drinking a LOT of ice water because it helps as well.
The other day I woke up and my belly has already popped out a lot. I thought that maybe I was further along than I originally thought... but I'm sure I'm not. If I am, I will find out later :). I really think that it's because this is my third baby, and I just had Ethan a year ago.
This is a picture of me 2 days ago:
Things around here have been pretty difficult with it being summer. Robert works SO much (about 80 hours a week), and it has been hard feeling like a single parent. We both really feel that it doesn't have to be as hard as it is and that with a few things being more organized (some rotations and shifts maybe?), it could make life much easier for everyone. I have been really struggling, and I went through a somewhat angry/bitter time because of it. But, the biggest issue is that I haven't been spending the time with Jesus that I need to because the kids are up EARLY right now, and I'm too tired to get up before them. So, because I haven't been spending time with Jesus, I have been more focused on myself and my needs/wants, and I haven't been focused on Jesus and why we are here. It doesn't help that I'm in my first trimester of pregnancy; I'm tired, I'm nauseous, and I'm hormonal. So, I'm just trying to put things into perspective, and I'm trying to figure out ways in which I can support Robert better and minister to others when I have the opportunity. We know that we are supposed to be here, so we just have to figure out ways to make it more manageable. And, I don't want to "just survive," I want to be used, and Robert wants to be used by God for His glory. So, summer is now half way over, and we have another half to go. But, it feels a little easier now... I think the first part is always the hardest. I pray that God is glorified in this place, and that it isn't EVER just about work.
I forgot to mention that a wonderful volunteer here is going to come over and watch the kids regularly (an hour a day, a few hours every few days... something like that) to help me :). My biggest goal in that time is to spend time with Jesus. I need that time. I'm so thankful for that... who else has that opportunity? Praise God :).
I've also been making some decisions about how I will continue my "natural living" lifestyle without spending as much money on it and making it my focus. I have been looking at our budget for the fall, and we have a lot of big things to pay for in the fall/winter. We have to pay our midwife (well, we want to :), we need to get some car maintenance done (timing belt, tires, etc), we want to buy a deep freeze, we have Christmas gifts that we are going to make (we are going to make a little playground thingy for the kids with swings and a slide), and we have baby things to buy (a new breast pump, cloth diapers, a co-sleeping bed, etc). We also want to put some money in savings for when I'll be out of work. So, as I looked at the fall budget, I realized that our grocery budget is smaller than it once was. I have decided that my focus in the fall needs to be on nutrition, and personal care and other products I will buy at Sam's. Because I am pregnant, my desire is to focus on getting as much protein as possible (eggs, nuts, meats, peanut butter, dairy, etc), as well as fruits, veggies, yogurt, whole grains, etc. Right now, none of that sounds good :). But in the fall (starting in August), it will be important. I plan to start baking and making more things from scratch again. We will eat in the dining hall whenever possible because it's free and we can be with Robert. But, I will be cooking more because there aren't as many meals in the dining hall (just on weekends and whenever they have Outdoor Ed).
Anyway... this is the scattered, honest update from my mind :). I feel like I have missed something, but oh well!