Sunday, May 8, 2011

Learning to Just be Me

One amazing thing that has been coming out of all of the difficulty of the past year and a half is that more and more, I am figuring out who it is that God created me to be, and I am learning to just be me.  I have always been a people pleaser, conforming to the way that I assumed people wanted me to be. 
The things that I always have on my mind that I try to control around people are that I'm emotional, I worry about how I look in an outfit, I worry about what people will think if they see me with something unhealthy since I talk a lot about being healthy, I feel that if a lesson doesn't go perfectly that it makes me a bad teacher, if my kids are throwing a fit it makes me a bad mommy, if my house is a mess that means I'm lazy, if I work a lot that means I don't spend enough time with my family, if I spend a lot of time with my family that means I don't care about my job, etc.  These are thoughts and worries that I have had constantly... and I'm learning to slowly let go. 

The little things that make me happy:
An amazing hair cut; some cute necklaces and earrings (that I got myself for mother's day hehe); notebooks, sticky notes, pens, and cute owl stickers; hanging out, being lazy, and drinking coffee all morning; music (especially JJ Heller and Shane & Shane); foil packet dinners on a small fire in our backyard; research and learning; flip flops; natural living; reading; getting lots of clothes at a garage sale (and they are fun and different!); being outside... I could probably go on and on. 

Sometimes I feel like I write the same things over and over again :).  There's just so much peace to being content with who I am and where I am in life.  When we made the decision to follow God's prompting to move to Dallas, we had no clue where we would be headed... and we had no idea that we would be where we are today :).  It all happened so fast!  I understand now why we are where we are!  God's plans are so much better than our own!

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