More on life with a newborn…
Wow. That's all I can say. For some reason, I had forgotten how difficult it is to have a newborn… I'm trying to find a balance and some routine. It's tough.
The night before last we had a pretty good night. We put rails up on our bed and decided to try co-sleeping again (we tried it for a few nights and I couldn't sleep, so we stopped). Well, co-sleeping went well that night… in fact, Levi probably would have only woken up once or so to eat had I not woken him up (because I was worried if I didn't my supply would start dwindling more). Of course, the power went out in our house and Karis came to our room because her night light wasn't on (and that became a few hour ordeal…). So, I still lost sleep… BUT, it was still better. Last night was just rough again. Very little sleep. And, I woke up dizzy (every time I woke up). So, this morning was rough. All I can say is I don't know what I would do without family and friends… My friend Kari came over (early!) to watch the kids so I could take a nap this morning. Then, my mom came and allowed me to take a nap this afternoon and she cleaned up my house. I was also able to run to the store real quick by myself. So, now I feel like someone hit the "reset" button and I feel refreshed.
Something that I'm learning through the struggle…
One thing that I am learning is that I have to learn to rely on others through this. I can't do it alone. There's no way. If I tried, I definitely wouldn't make it! A friend of mine wrote "God didn't intend for us to do it alone" on my facebook today. That's so true. I always struggle with others helping me, but I have learned that I have to let them. First because I need the help, and second because this is a way for God to use people to bless others. So, I am taking any help that I can get :). I will say that I am completely blessed with amazing friends and family who are SO willing to help. Actually, they're not just willing, but they want to help. They ask me or just decide to help me and not even give me a chance to deny them the opportunity.
Breastfeeding…
Some days I feel like I'm producing almost enough for him without supplementing… then some days I feel like I have to supplement a lot. I haven't figured out the connection yet. I try to drink lots of water and feed on demand… I take my herbs (although I haven't been as consistent as I should be… I end up getting three doses most days… I'm supposed to take them four times a day and can't have liquids for 20 minutes before and 20 minutes after, so it's difficult). The one thing that I haven't been doing that I really need to be doing is pumping consistently. I need to probably set up a schedule or something in order to be more consistent. It's just tough to find the time… between feeding often already (breastfeeding and bottle feeding), to taking care of the other kids, I just don't have a lot of time. Hopefully I'll get it figured out. It would be nice to not have to supplement as much! But, no matter what, I'm thankful and blessed to be able to breastfeed at all, and I hope to continue for a long time… even if it's not 100%!
On a positive note…
Karis and Ethan's behavior has improved greatly over the past few days. Through consistency, spending more time with them, and not yelling, their fits have reduced significantly; and, when they do throw them, they end much quicker. Karis' attitude has improved as well. This definitely helps things around here!! We still have more work ahead of us in this department, but it's great to see improvement this quickly.
Some other tough things…
I have been missing my brother a lot lately. I think about him a lot, dream about him, etc. It's becoming more real, and I'm so sad that he will never meet Levi. I wish things didn't have to be this way… but God is in control…
I haven't had time to just sit down and have quiet time with Jesus on a daily basis like I used to. Before Levi was born, Robert and I got up at 6:00 and had a good hour to read our Bibles and pray, and now we sleep as late as we can since we're missing out on sleep during the night. I know this will eventually get better, but it's just hard to find time now. I still pray through the day, but it's just not the same.
Some random side notes…
We have been to the farm twice since Levi was born to buy raw milk, and after those two trips, we have decided that it's just not going to work to go as regularly as we have been going. From it taking well over an hour one way (about an hour and twenty minutes!), to the fact that the kids fight the whole time, etc; it's just too hard right now. If I could go once a month, it wouldn't be as difficult, but every other week just isn't going to happen. I will probably still go once a month or every other month because they now not only sell beef real cheap, they also sell pork and chicken! They sell eggs, organic beans, popcorn, raw honey, and even kefir starter cultures! So, I won't stop going there, just not as often to buy milk as regularly.
One exciting thing is that the majority of my grocery shopping is now going to be done in one town!! The day that Levi was born, a store called Newflower Farmer's Market opened up across the street from the HEB that I go to. They have great prices on natural meat (when I need to buy it from somewhere other than the farm), produce, and an amazing selection of bulk items such as beans, rice, pasta, sweeteners, nuts and seeds, coffee, etc. They also have great sales! I went today to buy Levi's formula, and I bought some Probiotics and magnesium. I went to HEB afterward and found that these were more expensive at HEB than at Newflower (they are even more expensive online!). So, I will be buying many things there! I will probably rarely go to Whole Foods or Sun Harvest any more because I don't have to. So besides my once a month or every other month trip to the farm and to Costco, most of my shopping will be done 25 minutes away instead of having to go all the way into Austin (which is closer to 45 minutes away). That makes my life so much more simple!! Anything that will simplify my life right now is definitely a plus :).
I think that is all… I have just had a lot of things swimming around in my head and wanted to write about them :).
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