The week started out pretty rough. Last Sunday evening my throat started hurting. Then during the night, I became very achy and had fever and chills. I woke up that morning feeling awful. And it was bad timing... the first day of school. I called my principal and asked what I should do. He told me that it is ultimately my choice, but that if I could possibly go in, it would be good because it's the first day. It's VERY important to be there the first day... especially in that type of school. So, I decided that even if I went for a little bit, it would be better than nothing. And if I had to miss the next day it wouldn't be as big of a deal. So, I went in. I worked the whole day, feeling bad. But, I was able to ignore it for the most part. That afternoon, I came home, and crashed. I couldn't move. My body ached badly. My throat hurt. All I did that night was eat dinner, then I went to bed early.
The next morning, I woke up feeling much better... though still not 100%. I definitely enjoyed the day more. Through the week my throat continued to hurt some, and I started getting a cough. My voice began to go. The last several days of the week, it was tough to teach because my voice was barely there. But, I made it, and I enjoyed it anyway.
I know that this is where God has called me, though, it is met with many challenges. I am behind on lesson planning (which they are very particular about) and preparing things, as well as not being near as organized as I would like. I don't have any time to do laundry, clean up the house, etc. I know that once I get into a routine, all of that will come. I miss my kids and I feel like right now, I don't get to see them much. Again, after I get into a routine, all of that will improve. My goal is to get to where I lesson plan on Sunday afternoons, then I don't have to worry about it the rest of the week. Lesson plans are due every Friday (although this week they are due tomorrow instead of last Friday). So, if I get the plans done on Sundays, I will be way ahead. But today, I am still working on the ones that are due tomorrow... so it'll take me a few weeks to get ahead.
I love all of the curriculum that the schools use. It is really good... and it seems to be working. Most of the kids know what to expect from year to year because a lot of it builds upon itself. They have so many routines/strategies from what they have been taught and are able to put them into place. The schools use something called "Whole Brain Teaching," and I wasn't sure about it at first, but it works. I don't think I'll have a whole lot of classroom management issues, because again, the kids know exactly what to expect. I have a few students that I have been "warned" about, and so far, I haven't had any issues because I've learned that they just need consistency, firmness, AND positive reinforcement... lots of it. I love my students already, so much. I know that all of the students that I have in my class are supposed to be in my class. I pray for them, I show them that I love them, I give them respect, and I am firm and consistent. That's what they need. That's what they crave.
What an amazing mission... what an amazing calling. It took me a while to find where I fit, and God worked out all the pieces of the puzzle. I have seen how God has been orchestrating this... for a long time. I think back to the hard times that I have gone through in the past year (between my brother's death, having my third child in 4 years, going through postpartum depression, moving, etc), and I see how much He taught me through it. I'm not scared of struggle like I used to be... because now I know that He will use it for His glory. I am much stronger, and I have more faith now than ever before. I'm thankful for all that He has taught me. I have also learned so much about myself, who He has created me to be, and my heart is slowly becoming more like His.
Though, I still have a long way to go.
"And the water is rising quick, and for years I was scared of it. We can't be sure when it will subside, so I won't leave Your side, no I can't leave Your side."
Something Beautiful, Needtobreathe