Knocking the Wall Down
It started out rough, it got worse, and it ended with exhaustion. Despite the fact that it was so difficult, a lot of good, hard work happened. And despite the fact that I was exhausted last night, I was more at peace than I have been for a while. Yesterday was my counseling day. I had counseling with Robert, then by myself. Then, yesterday evening I had Celebrate Recovery. That's 4 hours of hard work, on top of the work that I did on my own at home. I cried a LOT. It's been a long time since I did that. There's healing in tears. There's healing in honesty. There's healing in hard work. I have been building this wall of condemnation and expectation for years and years. The words I use about myself have just been the cement that holds the wall together. One of the things that my counselor has been working with me on is the words I use. She reminds me that words matter. The words that are red flags are: should, neve...
