One Second at a Time

I went to the doc this morning (my next appointment wasn't scheduled for another two weeks but they were able to fit me in).  My doc is concerned about the amount of anxiety that I have been having (that was very obvious to her).  Another concern that she has is that I have gained 10 pounds in about 3-4 weeks.  This is very high weight gain and is very much contributed to a medication that I'm taking.  She's taking me off of this medication because of that and many other side effects.  I also think that this medication is causing some of this extra anxiety.  

She reminded me that much of my anxiety can also be attributed to the intense therapy and recovery that I'm working on through my counselor and Celebrate Recovery.  It's not uncommon to have more anxiety while in the process, but it's worth it in the end.  Sometimes it just gets worse before it gets better.  I asked her if it was worth it to do all of this work, and she believes that it is.  We just have to work on treating the anxiety that has increased while I work through things.  

Today, I'm okay.  I am hopeful with the changes in meds and I know that it'll all work out in the end... it just may be a long process.  I'm thankful that I am not working right now and have the time to work through things.  I'm working on some side jobs, but it's just enough to keep me somewhat busy without being too busy.  

Another thing that my doctor told me to do is make sure I'm in the sun a lot.  Even if I just go for a walk, read a book, or even nap in the sun, be in the sun.  It makes a huge difference, especially this time of year.  I will do my best :-).  I love being outdoors, but I haven't had much desire lately to do anything.  I'm hoping my meds will help me enough to get outside and do things that are best for me.  I also really need to be working out.  Gaining 10 pounds came as a shock and now I need to work on getting that back off!  Yuck.

One day at a time.  One hour at a time.  One minute at a time.  One second at a time.