Friday, June 26, 2009

Making Some Changes

I have had a great week of reflecting and figuring out where I stand on many things. I started to be really convicted about a lot of things, but I wasn't sure what to do about it, so I just kept on my merry way.
It's hard to explain how I ended up with all of these thoughts because there are SOOOO many reasons for them, but I thought I would try to explain what my thoughts and convictions are :). Bear with me.

First, I had been spending WAY too much time online... between researching, blogging, and reading other blogs, I was putting way to much effort into "natural living." Yes, living that way does take some time because it's important to know why, but I was making it my focus. I have done so much research over the past 6 months... I shouldn't really need to do anymore. So, why was I doing more? Because it has become an obsession of mine. Natural living is a good thing, but too much of anything is bad because it becomes an idol. If anything is before spending time with Jesus or taking care of my family, I need to stop.
I was also taking others' opinions and feeling bad if I didn't do things the way everyone else does them... like I was being a bad parent if I don't do everything the way other bloggers (who seem to be perfect, but really aren't) do them (if that makes any sense)...

Next, I have been spending WAY too much money on "natural living." Instead of being balanced and picking and choosing, I had to have it all. The natural personal care products, natural cleaners and detergents, organic/grass fed/cage free foods, etc. Again, all of those things are good, but I was putting SO much money into it... which is never a good thing. Instead of giving and saving, I have been spending way too much on food and natural products. I am TRYING to come to a balance in this. Is it going to kill us if I buy shampoo from Sam's because it is SOOOO much cheaper? No. Sometimes I want to buy natural stuff, and if we have the money, then I will. But, it's just SOOOO expensive, and we don't have the money to spend. I will just learn to choose the items that are the lowest on the cosmetic database and live with my decision. I'm learning that it's okay if I can't afford grass fed meat that month, as long as I buy hormone/antibiotic free. It's okay if I buy the cage free eggs from HEB instead of the Farmer's Market. I just need to learn balance.
I have been going to so many different places everytime I grocery shop, and it is exhausting. I have to figure out a better way... I'm about to have 3 kids. I can't drag them to 5 different stores!! HEB in Beecave has plenty of items to choose from... that needs to be good enough most of the time. I will still going to the farmer's market some, but I have to be okay if I can't!

It's also okay to eat in the dining hall when I can. This gives me the opportunity to spend time with Robert (even if it's just 5 minutes!), eat free food that I don't have to cook, and a way to get out of doing dishes :).

The biggest issue that I've had is that if I write about it on here, I feel like I have to follow it to a "T" because I don't want to be a hypocrite. I had been feeling guilty even going to the dining hall because of all the research I have done and all that I say that I do...

Another issue I found that I had (which it took me a while to realize this) is that with my high expectations for myself, I put those expectations on others... most people don't care about "natural living," and I can't expect them to. I found myself getting worked up about decisions that other people made, and I am learning that IT DOESN'T MATTER what other people do... I am just responsible for my own actions.

Instead of my identity being in Christ, I was making my identity be that I am "natural." Who really cares?

Again, I am NOT saying that natural living is bad. In fact, I will continue living this way for the most part (just with more balance). I'm not saying that I am just going to stop trying because it's too expensive, etc. I am saying that I am trying to learn balance and not make it a focus at all. I want to just live my life, glorify God, and serve my family. At the end of a previous post that I wrote about my journey to natural living, I wrote that this is "who we are". No, that's not who I am. It is something that I'm passionate about, but it's not who I am. My identity isn't in the choice of food/products that I make. My identity is in Christ.

I have been carrying a lot of guilt around for a long time because of not being able to do everything that I want all the time... and about trying too hard to do things that we really can't do. I just can't live guilty anymore. There's freedom in Christ, not burden. The issue is that I have made this an idol, and I had become legalistic in a lot of ways, so I need to let go.

Here it is. I'm letting go. No longer do I want to be seen as someone who puts all of their time and energy into "natural living," but as someone who loves Jesus and loves her family, and it's obvious. Jesus didn't call us to "natural living." He called us to love Him and love others.

So... the future of my blog is uncertain right now. I am going to work a little harder on the home management side and a little less on researching natural living... so at this point I'm not really sure what I'll be writing about (or if I'll write much at all). I'm trying to get to a place in which I'm not online that much... but the internet is something that I've had balance issues with for YEARS (since high school)... so it'll take me a while :). I'm not neglecting my family by any means, I just spend more time on here than I should. I think a lot of people spend too much time online these days...

I hope this makes sense, but if it doesn't, oh well :). Again, I'm not going to stop living naturally, but it's just going to be what I do now and not my focus. I'm happy about the burden being lifted to do things a certain way... I realize I put that burden on myself, and now I'm lifting it :).

Thursday, June 25, 2009

6 Weeks Today

I am 6 weeks today...


The past few days I have been so tired that I haven't wanted to do anything. Today I tried to take a nap for two hours and just kept getting interrupted in different ways.

My appetite has been low, but I have been physically hungry. I can't find anything that I am hungry for here... so I just don't eat much. Tomorrow I'm going to pick up a few things that I'm craving. Right now I'm cooking some potatoes to make garlic cheesy mashed potatoes :). I have been craving some mashed potatoes for a few days... so I've decided (at almost 9:00), to make some!!


Other than those things, this pregnancy really has been pretty easy. I haven't been nauseous, really. With the last two I was nauseous by now, so maybe I won't be. We'll see. I'm pretty blessed there. The only hard part about this pregnancy is that I have two other kids to take care of and take after, and Robert works 80 or so hours a week (6 days a week, 12-15 hours a day). But, I'm thankful that I'm due in February, which is kind of a slow season here for camp.


I have my first appointment with my midwife next week... I was supposed to have an appt with her on Tuesday, but she had a 48 hour birth and needed to rest. I think it's awesome that midwives are at births the whole time, no matter how long it is!! She would have rescheduled it for today (Thursday), but Robert wanted to be here and he had a long day today. So, we're having the appt the next time he's off (next Tuesday). It's fine, though, because most people don't see their OB's til 8 weeks or so.


There's not much exciting going on...

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Taking a Break from Blogging

I just wanted to say that I will be taking a break from blogging for a while. I have decided that I need to spend some time focusing on my priorities. I also want to spend some time figuring out what it is that I feel true conviction from God about and/or I really feel like I need to do for my family, and what I just do because it seems like the best thing, but it isn't really best and/or possible for my family. I don't know if that makes sense, but I guess it doesn't have to. :)

I'm not getting rid of my blog because I enjoy it, but it may eventually take a slight turn. We'll see what happens.

Friday, June 19, 2009

New Homeschool Preschool Curriculum

ABC Jesus Loves Me


I am going to start a new curriculum for Karis, and I am super excited. It is called ABC Jesus Loves Me. It is completely planned out for 36 weeks, and there is a curriculum for 3 year olds and one for 4 year olds. I'm still trying to decide if I should wait and start in August like it says because the holidays are lined up well right now. We'll see :). I just wanted to let you know about it!!

The objectives for a 3 year old are:
The child will...
~ know several Bible stories, Memory Verses, Nursery Rhymes, Finger Plays, and Songs which they can recall when prompted.
~ know the name of all the lowercase letters
~ know the phonetic sounds of all the lowercase letters
~ be able to correctly trace all lowercase letters
~ know by name and be able to correctly trace the numbers 1-20
~ be able to identify various colors and shapes
~ be able to demonstrate spatial concepts, sorting, and AB and ABA patterns
~ be able tos ay the letters of their first name as well as write them, using a capital letter for the first letter of their name
~ be introduced to many books


My plan for when it lists specific books is that if I don't have the specific book, I will check it out from the library. If they don't have it, I will just find a similar one :). I have quite a few books, and I can't really afford to buy a bunch more!
But everything else comes with it. There are TONS of printables (including whole books); all the rhymes, finger plays, and songs are there for you, etc.
CHECK IT OUT!!!

Not Able to do All that I Want...

Robert and I were talking about raw milk last night, and he feels that right now since I'm not working, that we should definitely wait until the fall and re-evaluate then. The milk is VERY expensive, and we're just not sure that we can afford it right now. It is much better, but it's not the end of the world if we don't buy it right now. I love researching food and nutrition, but it's hard when we can't do the things that I would like :). It's hard to know what's best and not be able to do it. But, that's just life. We will be healthy and fine anyway. I try to put many of the things that I've learned into practice.
I also still struggle with the fact that I'm so tired right now and don't feel like cooking meals (and cleaning up after), so we go to the dining hall often. But, this is just a season. I will start feeling better in a few months. I think at this point it's just as or more important for the kids to get out of the house and be able to see their daddy. The food is free, I don't have to cook it, and we are able to be around the staff. The ministry of hanging out with the college students is very important as well. It's just a toss up. What's more important? At this point I'm having to go with ministry and time with their daddy. I still plan to cook some at home (sometimes Karis really just wants to eat at home), but I'm just too tired to do it much right now.
In the fall we will HAVE to cook our own meals again, and I will be cooking what I know is healthy (and I'm looking forward to it!). For now, I'm just going to enjoy having meals cooked for me :).
I'm sure that I'm just being harder on myself and than anyone would be, and I'm sure many others would do the same thing.

For those of you who have the same convictions about food, if you had the ability to eat meals for free, that have been cooked for you, and spend time with your husband in the middle of the day, what would you decide? It has just been a "dilemma" for me all summer so far. And it will be a dilemma every summer I'm sure.

I might change my mind about this again in a few weeks (as I have been doing), but for now, this is what I'm going to do! :)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Ethan's Birthday

Ethan's birthday was fun and low stress! We had a little family gathering on Sunday, and we enjoyed it :). I can't believe that he is a year old. It seems like he was just born yesterday. Here are some picks of him from birth til now, then some pics of his birthday:




















Monday, June 15, 2009

My Identity is in Christ


Robert and I had a talk last night about me and my people pleasing ways. It's so frustrating because much of what I do, I think, is to please others. I feel so torn all the time because of that. It's pretty sad. I can't help it, though. It's just part of who I am and what I struggle with. So, Robert and I were talking about what I can do to move past that. He told me that I'm going to have to make a CONSCIOUS effort daily to say it just doesn't matter what others think. He also reminded me to ask myself in every decision that I make: is this for Jesus, or to make others happy? I can never always make other people happy. And, ultimately, as long as I am following the Lord, it doesn't matter whether or not others are happy with my decisions. In fact, many times others won't be happy because following Jesus doesn't always make sense.
In my Bible study, we are memorizing Galatians 2:20. "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
My identity is in Christ. My identity isn't in how much I please others, in my anxiety issues, in how much I am passionate about "natural living," my role as wife, mother, daughter, or any of that. My identity is in Christ. "The life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God."
I think, sometimes, that I feel like I have to do certain things to make Jesus love me more. That is NOT truth.

One thing that sticks out to me from my Bible study that someone said is "stop striving."

I think sometimes I focus on trying to be perfect so much that I miss the point.

Friday, June 12, 2009

And, it begins...

Update on Symptoms
The tired-ness and moodiness have definitely hit. I've been really exhausted and my hormones have been a little crazy. I have been worried about EVERYTHING... Being worried is normal for me, but not to this extent! I'm having to just leave it with Jesus and try to move on :).

Update on Supplements
I have been taking Nature's Plus Source of Life Prenatals, but I plan to switch whenever I run out of these. My midwife recommended one that I had never heard of. It's called Super Nutrition Prenatal. At first I dismissed it because it wasn't labeled a "whole foods prenatal." But, the more research that I did, the more I understand why she recommends it. I compared it with New Chapter Prenatal and New Life Prenatal, and I found that it has WAY more comprehensive. Most prenatals are really lacking in the mineral area, and this one does NOT lack at all in that area. Some examples are that the calcium of Super Nutrition is 1200mg, and in New Chapter it is 30mg. The magnesium is 650mg verses 10mg in NC. The iron is 40mg verses 18mg. Those are just a few. (Lucky Vitamin's website shows that it has 500 IU's of Vitamin A, but that is incorrect. It is actually 5000 IU's, which is perfect) Every single one is a great amount (there are some that you can have too much, and they don't have as much of that). I took a separate multi mineral with Ethan in order to get enough minerals (I had low iron, leg cramps, etc), but with this one I don't have to. Another plus is that it is green Superfoods based, and it contains herbs. It is 5 out of 5 stars on pretty much every website I have looked it up on. The things that are lacking are a few more whole foods and probiotics. But I can get those through food. The main reasons I think it's important to take supplements is that I know that I won't eat exactly the way that I should, and it is really important to get enough iron, folic acid, calcium, etc.


As far as anything else, I am going to start taking Carlson Norwegian Cod Liver Oil Lightly Lemon, then in the fall when I start getting paid, I will be taking Nordic Naturals Cod Liver Oil. I will also eventually start taking some herbs such as nettles, red raspberry, etc. I might just take those in tea form. We'll see. It's still a bit early :).


Anyway... that's what's going on so far. I'm sure that I will be showing in no time since this is my third. With Karis I started showing about 17-18 weeks, with Ethan 12-13 weeks, and I'm sure this one will be even earlier!! I already have quite a bit of bloating!! I was looking at some pictures at Ethan's birthday, and I looked like a cow! Wow.


Here is a pic at the beginning so there is something to compare future pics to:

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Raw Milk

I have been doing quite a bit of research on the benefits of raw milk, and so far, the benefits out-weigh the possible cons. Here is an excellent blog with lots of history and details about raw milk (this guy lives in Austin). I have read about the benefits of raw milk on MANY websites as well as books. I found out today that I can buy it in Austin. I haven't made my decision yet, but I'm leaning that way.

Blog to Journal this Pregnancy

I have created a blog to journal this pregnancy. Because it will probably be our last, I want to enjoy every moment of it!! Check it out if you're interested:
Our Expanding Family

4 Weeks

I found out yesterday that I'm expecting baby #3, and since this is probably going to be our last little one, I want to savor every moment of the pregnancy. I created a separate blog as more of a journal to record milestones, appointments with my midwife, etc.


Right now, I am 4 weeks pregnant. I found out I was pregnant on the day I would have started my period (yesterday). The way I found out is pretty funny! Monday, I bought a cheapy Wal-mart test. I have been feeling pregnant (I just KNEW with my last two, so I thought maybe that was the case again), and even though it was a little early, I thought I would try. Well, about a minute after I took it, it was negative, so I just threw it away (the better ones usually show almost immediately, so I figured that was it). Well, yesterday (Wednesday) I just had a weird thought to check it again, and it showed positive. I was a little confused and thought that maybe it just did something weird cause it sat there for a few days. I looked at the package insert and it said that after 10 minutes to disregard the results. But, I have NEVER had that happen before... so, I decided to go ahead and get a box of 2 more ("name brand") tests just in case. They were both positive :). So, it's official. Three positive tests!!! Apparently the one on Monday, I just didn't wait long enough!

My first appointment with my midwife is Tuesday, June 23rd. I'm looking forward to it!!!

I have many emotions running through my head... I'm excited, happy, worried, nervous, etc. I'm a little worried about finances and the extra stress of having another little one (three kids 4 and under). But, I am ultimatley super excited and happy because I know that God is the one who opened my womb, and I know that He has big plans!! I have always wanted 3 kids!! And, I'm excited about being pregnant again, feeling the kicks and movements, and having another homebirth. It was an amazing experience with Ethan, and I can't wait to experience it again!!

BIG News

I'M PREGNANT!!! :)

It's a funny story how I found out... Monday, I bought a cheapy Wal-mart test. I have been feeling pregnant (I just KNEW with my last two, so I thought maybe that was the case again), and even though it was a little early, I thought I would try. Well, about a minute after I took it, it was negative, so I just threw it away (the better ones usually show almost immediately, so I figured that was it). Well, yesterday I just had a weird thought to check it again, and it showed positive. I was a little confused and thought that maybe it just did something weird cause it sat there for a few days. I looked at the package insert and it said that after 10 minutes to disregard the results. But, I have NEVER had that happen before... so, I decided to go ahead and get a box of 2 more ("name brand") tests just in case. They were both positive :). So, it's official. Three positive tests!!! Apparently the one on Monday, I just didn't wait long enough!

My estimated due date is February 18th. I'm meeting with my midwife on June 23rd. When I called her yesterday she was super excited.

We're excited!! We're thinking that 3 is a good number :).

Monday, June 8, 2009

Daily and Weekly Routines

DAILY ROUTINES

Morning Routine

  • Up at 6:30, Take a shower, get dressed, dry hair
  • Make bed
  • Time with Jesus
  • Computer time & prepare for day (until kids wake up, then turn computer OFF and PUT AWAY)
  • Feed and dress kids (and give vitamins)
  • Eat breakfast (and take vitamins)
  • Daily chores: put away clean dishes, one load of laundry, sweep, tidy (should only take about 30 minutes)
  • Activity with Kids (planned every Sunday)

Afternoon Routine

  • 12:00 Lunch (either dining hall or here)
  • 1:30 Kids' naps, weekly planned item
  • Blog, read, write, "me time" (until kids wake, then PUT COMPUTER AWAY)
  • 5:30 Prepare for dinner, prepare for next days' meals
  • Eat dinner, clean up after dinner
  • Take kids for a walk

Night time routine

Kids:

  • Pick out clothes for tomorrow
  • Bath (alternating nights- Karis, then Ethan)
  • Brush teeth
  • Read, sing, pray
  • 8:30 Bed

    Mine:

  • Quick tidy, sweep
  • Pick out clothes for tomorrow
  • Brush and floss; wash face
  • Spend time with hubby
  • Read
  • 10:30 Bed


TENTATIVE WEEKLY PLAN

Monday:
Meet mom so she can watch the kids (morning)
Work on curriculum (@ Starbucks!!
Ladies Bible Study, 6:30

Tuesday:
Robert's day off, no plan
(usually turns into working on yard…)

Wednesday:
Baking day (breads, muffins, crackers, etc)
Water/weed garden

Thursday:
Home Blessing Day (which means clean the house)

Friday:
Errands, grocery shopping, etc.
11:15 Story time @ Library
Picnic lunch (or eat @ Panera's)
Water/weed garden
Do daily chores in afternoon

Saturday:
Every other week Farmer's Market and free Kids' Yoga @ coffee shop
Other weeks just rest and do NOTHING… watch movies/tv all day… have NO plan

Sunday:
Church
Plan for week (budgeting/finances, grocery list, meal plan, etc; homeschool preschool lessons)
(or, if our Outreach team goes somewhere that day, go with them… planning is something I can do any day)
Water/weed garden

New Daily and Weekly Routines

I have been talking about needing more of a schedule/routine (again) a lot lately. This morning I was reading on "Fly Lady", and it gave me the motivation that I needed. I didn't follow what she says exactly, but this is what I came up with. This is FLEXIBLE, and it's just for the summer (I will come up with a fall routine later). I pretty much just took what we already kind of do and added a little more structure to it. My big goal is to PUT THE COMPUTER AWAY when the kids are awake (right now my mom has them because I have a meeting in a little while!!).
There are so many things each week that change that I've decided as far as specifics for each day of the week, I'll just plan weekly. I have a "generic/tentative" plan, but again, I will be flexible.
I know I have tried and tried to have routines, but all I can do is keep trying!! I NEED some structure. It feels like chaos here when I don't have structure.

DAILY ROUTINES

Morning Routine

  • Up at 6:30, Take a shower, get dressed, dry hair
  • Make bed
  • Time with Jesus
  • Computer time & prepare for day (until kids wake up, then turn computer OFF and PUT AWAY)
  • Feed and dress kids (and give vitamins)
  • Eat breakfast (and take vitamins)
  • Daily chores: put away clean dishes, one load of laundry, sweep, tidy (should only take about 30 minutes)
  • Activity with Kids (planned every Sunday)

Afternoon Routine

  • 12:00 Lunch (either dining hall or here)
  • 1:30 Kids' naps, weekly planned item
  • Blog, read, write, "me time" (until kids wake, then PUT COMPUTER AWAY)
  • 5:30 Prepare for dinner, prepare for next days' meals
  • Eat dinner, clean up after dinner
  • Take kids for a walk

Night time routine

Kids:

  • Pick out clothes for tomorrow
  • Bath (alternating nights- Karis, then Ethan)
  • Brush teeth
  • Read, sing, pray
  • 8:30 Bed

    Mine:

  • Quick tidy, sweep
  • Pick out clothes for tomorrow
  • Brush and floss; wash face
  • Spend time with hubby
  • Read
  • 10:30 Bed


TENTATIVE WEEKLY PLAN

Monday:
Meet mom so she can watch the kids (morning)
Work on curriculum (@ Starbucks!!
Ladies Bible Study, 6:30

Tuesday:
Robert's day off, no plan
(usually turns into working on yard…)

Wednesday:
Baking day (breads, muffins, crackers, etc)
Water/weed garden

Thursday:
Home Blessing Day (which means clean the house)

Friday:
Errands, grocery shopping, etc.
11:15 Story time @ Library
Picnic lunch (or eat @ Panera's)
Water/weed garden
Do daily chores in afternoon

Saturday:
Every other week Farmer's Market and free Kids' Yoga @ coffee shop
Other weeks just rest and do NOTHING… watch movies/tv all day… have NO plan

Sunday:
Church
Plan for week (budgeting/finances, grocery list, meal plan, etc; homeschool preschool lessons)
(or, if our Outreach team goes somewhere that day, go with them… planning is something I can do any day)
Water/weed garden

Saturday, June 6, 2009

My Journey to Natural Living

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it was like before I cared about natural living. I’ve decided to write out my journey! Some of it you’ve heard before because I’ve been sharing a lot of things on this blog. J These are things that I have learned through research, so I’m not saying everyone must do these things or agree with them. In fact, I have a hard time doing all that I want, to the extent that I want.
I’ve been working on this for a few days, so I hope it flows!!

My Journey
It all started the August that we moved back to San Marcos (2006). The job that Robert was going to be starting did not provide insurance. So, we found some independent insurance. At this point, I only had Karis, and I knew I would want more kids. The representative told us that the insurance didn't cover maternity (and most independent insurances didn't), and that most of his clients used the Austin Area Birthing Center. At that point, I was NOT interested in natural childbirth. I had a lot of issues that happened as a result of my first birth (tearing, scar tissue, surgery, long recovery), so I was honestly thinking c-section (of course, just thinking… hadn’t researched or anything). We didn’t have any choice with insurance, so I was just hoping that I would have insurance through a school by the time I wanted another. Well, time went by and I began to want another child. About March of the next year (2007), I started doing a lot of research on natural childbirth. I learned that people have natural childbirth because it's so much better for mom and baby, there is usually much less recuperating time, it's usually cheaper, etc. I also looked into why epidurals, episiotomies, Pitocin, c-sections, etc aren't as great as they are made to be. I learned that many of those interventions are done so often that people don't even look into the problems that they cause. I learned that many "emergency c-sections" are caused by the interventions.

Through this, I began to talk to people on a website called Cafemom (like a facebook for moms only!) that had either had birth center birth or homebirth. I did a lot of research on the safety of these. I found that homebirth is just as safe, or safer than hospital birth statistically (and homebirth is common in most countries... hospitals are for emergencies/high risk only). I found that as long as a woman was low risk, then they could have a much better birth at home. I found that the difference between a birth center birth and homebirth is that homebirth is cheaper and I could be in the comfort of my own home (they use the same equipment). I learned that birth was a normal thing, not something to treat as a sickness or emergency. I learned that the less interventions, the safer and better the labor and delivery are. I learned that midwives have training in recognizing the potential complications that can occur, and have usually had experience in those complications. I learned that midwives aren't just book trained, but they are trained by attending MANY births with other midwives before they ever practice on their own (they are apprentices for a long time first).

I did research to find a midwife, and I found a wonderful midwife (on a website called Texas Midwives) that came to our house to get to know us even before we started trying to have a baby. She gave us so much information and calmed the fears that we had. Six months later, I ended up pregnant with Ethan and began planning the homebirth that I had been dreaming about. My midwife came to my house, on my schedule for my appointments. She did all the things that doctors do: checked blood pressure, weight, did labs, listened to the heartbeat, felt for baby's position, measured my belly, etc. She gave me a wealth of information on nutrition, supplements, herbs, natural remedies, etc in a binder.

When I was 20 weeks pregnant, we ended up moving to the camp, which is 45 minutes to an hour away from a hospital. I also came upon the ACOG's statement against homebirth. I began having fears about homebirth. I discussed these fears with Robert and my midwife, and I also prayed about it a LOT (as well as did even more research). My midwife and Robert both reminded me that the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology would be against homebirth because it takes away from their profits. It is becoming more and more common for women to use birth centers and have homebirths (because women are receiving more and more information). The one thing that I thought was funny was that the whole statement was opinion. There was not ONE statistic in there, because statistics proved that homebirth is safer for low risk women. So, after lots of prayer and more research, I decided to stick with my decision to homebirth. My midwife assured me that if there was even the slightest thought that there would be a problem, we would go in. And, God created birth to be a normal part of life. Without normal birth, we wouldn't have people on this earth. I do feel that the hospital is a good thing to have, and that some of the technologies are sometimes necessary (and I'm thankful for them!), but it's for sick people or high risk pregnancies; it’s not for normal birth.

After my final decision to have a homebirth, I began preparing for Ethan’s arrival. I ordered my homebirth kit from In His Hands. In His Hands is a company that sells homebirth and newborn supplies, and it is a home based, Christ centered business. It is located just outside of Austin. The man who owns it actually met his wife here at camp J. The company is very well known, and used by many in Texas and out of Texas.

Then, I ordered cloth diapers. We bought BumGenius One Size Pocket Diapers. I was so excited to receive those!!
We made sure that we had everything we needed, then we just waited.
J

A shortened version of my birth story (if you don’t want to read about birth, you might want to skip this paragraph!)
On June 14, 2008, at 5:00 pm, my water broke. My labor started at 10:30 (immediately strong). I got into the tub because that was the only way I knew I would be comfortable. My midwife started on her way about an hour later, as well as another midwife and midwife apprentice. The apprentice and other midwife got here before my midwife because she was further away. I breathed through each contraction, dealing with them without much trouble. I stayed in the tub until transition. Transition lasted about an hour, and was very tough. But, I got through it!! I did whatever my body told me to do in order to be comfortable. I would get in and out of the tub. I would sit. I would squat… anything to help move the baby down and make it more comfortable. Eventually I wanted to lie in bed because I was very sleepy. I feel asleep in between contractions (yes, that can happen!). Eventually, my body began pushing all on its own. It’s amazing how the body just knows what to do. At 3:14am, after about only 10 minutes of pushing, my little guy was out (and NO tearing occurred even though I still had scar tissue from Karis' birth!!). It was amazing to let my body do what it needed in order to have a wonderful birth. My labor was short! Afterwards, all I wanted to do was hold my little guy. We were able to just rest in bed as a family as the midwives cleaned everything (including doing laundry), and made me an amazing breakfast. They made sure everything was good, then left us to enjoy our new little guy. The ONLY regret I have is that I wish we wouldn't have had anyone else there besides me, Robert, and the midwives. Next time I won't do that. I also still had lots of trouble breastfeeding (long story... for another post), and through recently reading some information on the hindrances of milk supply put out by La Leche League about it, I might have a problem that makes it impossible to breastfeed exclusively. I will try again with the next baby (and discuss this fully with my midwife), but I have to be okay with breastfeeding and supplementing if necessary (even though I wouldn't want to do this, I may have to). As long as my baby receives my colostrum and some breast milk daily, I know he/she is receiving what is necessary.

Since my wonderful homebirth experience, I have only grown more and more passionate about natural living because it is the way God intended it! It is just part of who I am (and Robert too!). Last fall, I began looking more and more into nutrition. This semester, I have learned the most... I really became passionate about it. I began learning more about how important whole foods are, and how important grass fed, organic, and local foods are. We have been lied to for years about how "good" low fat/low carb diets are. The most important thing for health and losing weight is to eat foods as whole as possible. This means not eating low fats because they are processed to make them lower in fat. Usually they have artificial sweeteners, more salt, hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, etc added to them to still make their taste tolerable. I have learned that margarine and things like it are really bad for you. I have learned that things like butter, whole milk (preferably raw), whole milk yogurt, coconut oil, etc are actually good for you because the amount of nutrients in them (even though many people will say they aren't good for you, there is MUCH research to prove that they are). I've learned that it's really important to get lots of whole grains. I have learned that organic is best. I have learned that grass fed/pastured is even better. I have learned that eggs are actually really good for you (and that there is something in the white of the egg that counter acts the cholesterol in the yolk of the egg). I have learned that eating lots of fruits and veggies is very important (although, no one would argue this!). I have learned that ultimately HOMEMADE food is the BEST over any processed/boxed food (although, we eat boxed food every once in a while...).

I have learned that supplements are important because our soil has been depleted of many important vitamins and minerals. There is a huge argument about supplements because if you eat well, you shouldn't have to take anything. But, I have chosen to use them in moderation (especially in pregnancy, and with Karis because she doesn't eat much). We also rely more on herbs than medication because herbs are potent (they work!) and if taken correctly, they are safer than medication (we do take medication some... we aren't completely against it).

I have learned that natural/homemade personal products, cleaners, makeups, etc are so much better for you because conventional products have lots of toxins in them. We are almost completely natural in this area now.

I have learned that my anxiety was worsened by eating processed flours and sugars, by consuming lots of toxins, by using commercial products and cleaners, etc. My anxiety is improving through the power of Jesus and the power of healthy food.

Simple living has become more of a priority for us. Simple living means living only with what is necessary. It means not having a bunch of "stuff." The purpose for living simply is to focus less on the things of this world, and more on serving and loving God. We have found that the more junk we have, the more cluttered our lives are, and the more we focus on that junk. This is a new way of living for us, so it is something that we are continually learning and figuring out. It's not always easy, but it's worth it.

We have also made the environment more of a priority because God wants us to be good stewards of the things that he has left us in charge of. There are some things that we want to do, and it's just not very easy at the moment. We want to recycle, but we don't have someone who picks up recycling out here. So, we may just start taking it into Austin eventually (it's a long drive, and I think it costs money). So, because we can't recycle very easily, we are making a huge effort to cut down on un-needed products (this also helps in the living simply area). Napkins, paper towels, etc aren't something that we buy a lot of, and we only buy them for special occasions usually. If I do buy them, I buy 100% recycled. We use cloth diapers as much as we can (we have gone back and forth because Ethan has been getting a severe rash… we think we found the problem, and it has been better). We use the natural products and cleaners, not only because they are safer, but also because they are better on the environment. We use bpa free bottles and cups (mostly). We are going to start a compost bin soon. I'm excited about this because it will cut down on waste, and it will improve our garden.

Obstacles
Now that I've discussed my journey, I want to tell you that it hasn't all been easy. There have been many obstacles. The BIGGEST obstacle has been financial. It isn't cheap to buy meat, poultry, eggs, etc from the farmer's market. It isn't cheap to buy organic. It isn't cheap to buy natural products. I have spent a LOT of time on finding ways to do this as inexpensively as possible, and I have found that planning has saved me a lot of money. Only buying what I need, when I need it is always my goal (I'm not always REAL good at this, but I'm getting better). We used to always buy junk food, now we make most things from scratch (which definitely saves money). I did a lot of price comparison shopping, and at this point, I pretty much know what the products that I buy cost at many stores in Austin and Marble Falls. We planted a garden, and have enjoyed many veggies so far from that (and plan to develop this more and more). I buy most of my products from two websites (Lucky Vitamin and Vitacost) in which many products are much cheaper (some 1/2 off) than in stores.

Another obstacle has been the fact that we have a dining hall here at the camp (and during the summer, that means all meals are made). The food isn't organic, grass fed/pastured, whole foods, etc. It's hard, though, because it's free, I don't have to cook it, and it's a way to be around others. I'm still trying to figure this one out. Let me know if you have any ideas!!

I have also found that it is hard to do all that we want to do. And, since I know what is best (at least for my family), I'm hard on myself when I can't live up to my expectations. This is something that I'm learning to let go of. I'll get to a place one day in which all of this is just part of life (I'm getting there).

Some days I struggle with living the way I want. I can't possibly do all that I would like to do.
If you were to walk into our home, we seem just like any other person. We live differently than other people in many ways, but we're also just servants of Jesus striving to be more like him. This just happens to be some convictions and passions of ours, and we feel that living this way benefits our family. Through living this way, we are healthier and are fit for God's use. We are being good stewards of the bodies and the earth that the Lord gave us. Everyone is different. This is who we are.