Well, after three long months of struggling through breastfeeding, I have made the decision to wean Levi. I just feel it's time. Even though I've still been taking herbal tinctures 3-4 times a day, nursing every 2-3 hours (except at night), drinking lots of water, etc, my supply is dwindling. This past week I have been giving him 2-4 ounces of formula after every feeding. Levi has been getting frustrated after just a few minutes of nursing. I'll feel the let down, then a few minutes later (like 2-3 minutes), there's no more. He's also been getting frustrated at the bottle because I use slow flow nipples (as to not get him frustrated at the breast... even though it's not working)... he's hungry!
I am sad, but I feel at peace with this decision. I talked to my midwife and received the closure that I needed. She told me that I have gone longer than any of her moms that have had major supply issues. I should be proud of the progress that I made and all the work that I put in. I had a feeling this time would come. From the beginning, when I didn't have enough for him, I prepared myself for this. At least I know that it wasn't something that I did wrong with the last two... it is just my body. I have tried everything and still struggled with major supply issues... So, I can feel good that I did the best that I could. It's time to move on now. I'm excited and at peace.
We are almost 100% sure that we are finished having babies. Between my having postpartum depression/anxiety after the birth of my babies (and it progressively getting worse each time), and just feeling like our family is complete, we're looking into possibly using a permanent method now. I've done a little more research on the IUD and I'm not real sure that I feel comfortable with it. Part of me is just ready to make the commitment so we can move on. Part of me is a little hesitant just because we're pretty young and I don't want to do anything out of emotion and just because I'm tired. So, we're going to continue praying about it for a little while. But, we both feel content with our family the size that it is.
I'm so excited about what's to come. Praise God for just opening my eyes to so many things and helping me to see clearly.
I will be writing soon about a lot more of what he's been teaching me.