The kids are at my parents' because we had plans to go stay in a cabin for several days for our anniversary... It fell through because we were going to have to get an inspection done on the house... then that house fell through. We found another house that we loved, then found out today that that house has a contract on it. So, we have decided that we will wait until our realtor gets back to town until we look at houses (or at least seriously!). She'll be back in 2 weeks.
In the mean time we have been thinking through whether or not to continue looking in Oak Cliff. We love the area, we love our church, and I love the closeness to my job... but we could get a bigger house and it seems like it would be easier if we were to look further north (closer to Robert's job). I don't think that we're going to change the location that we're looking at, but it's an option. Lots to think and pray through.
I've just been missing my old life lately... I know that we are where we are for a reason, but some days are hard. I miss my camp family, my old church family, my old job, my family, etc. I know that God has great things in store here and I have been developing great friendships with people here... and I'm not saying that I would ever want to go back to the way life used to be; I just miss a lot of things about the way life used to be :). I know that once we find our home and get settled, things will be much better... Until then, I'll just keep relying on God's grace and strength to get through... and just ask for His peace as I struggle with these emotions.
Sometimes following God is tough because it's not about emotions. It's not about what seems logical. It's not about what we want. It's not about being happy. It's about doing what He says even when it's hard... and through those hard times He teaches me and is glorified.
As I look back at the past year, I see now how God used some things in my life to grow me and to give me the tools to be there for others. As I have said many times, this has been the hardest year of my life, but I am hopeful for a good year in 2011! God has completely changed our lives, and I only see good things to come... despite my current emotions :). Luckily God is bigger than emotion!