Saturday, December 4, 2010


The one thing that is very difficult when working full time (and not having our own home) is simplicity.  I miss it.  I know that we are exactly where we are for a reason and a purpose, but it's very difficult to live a simple life if we're on the go all the time.  Dallas traffic, early mornings and coming home when it's almost dark, not having our own place, trying to save money but struggle because of the lack of organization, the house is constantly a mess, we can't keep up with laundry, we are all going in different directions all the time (Robert works North West and I work South West of here), etc.  And with three very young children, when we are home, we are constantly changing diapers, feeding someone, changing someone's clothes, cleaning up spills, and just doing all that it takes to physically take care of little ones (not including taking care of them emotionally, mentally, and spiritually).  I'm not trying to complain, but I'm just tired.  People ask me sometimes how I do it, and the only way I can do it is with the Lord's strength and power.  Some days I just feel like I can't go on.  Some days I wonder (just like others probably) why we are here.  Why I am working full time.  Why we left the security of camp.

And the only answer I can give is because God say so.  It doesn't logically make sense.  We had all we needed at camp.  But He said go, so we went.  We left just a few weeks later.
Being a Christ follower means giving up worldly securities to do His will.  It means stepping out on faith knowing that where He guides, He provides.  It means giving up things to be able to change lives. 

And as far as my job goes, I struggled with deciding to work full time.  I fought my husband with this for a few years really.  I ended up turning down a part time teaching position without even having a job offer from my current school because I just knew that He was calling me to what I am doing. I spent several hours on my face before the Lord, seeking His will, and He made it clear that this was it. 

So, mostly, this is a reminder post for myself that even though some things don't make sense, and even though things can be really tough, He made it clear that this was His plan.  So, I will just get through it with His power and strength, and know that He will be glorified.

Just last week I was so content, completely at peace, and I was so excited about all that God has been doing.  I know that my current emotional state is from Satan.  He doesn't want me to be content, peaceful, joyful, and excited about serving the Lord.  That's why I can't rely on emotions.  Emotions mean nothing in the great scheme of things.  I have to listen to the voice of truth and ignore the lies that I hear.

My goals to create a little more simplicity are:
  • Try to keep up with laundry... a load a day
  • Have the kids help clean up each evening before bed... I am going to create a chore chart for Karis so that she can help regularly and we can begin giving her an allowance and teach her about money (tithe, then savings, then spending money)
  • Try to come home as soon as I can, start on dinner, and have a little play time in the evenings before the kids have to go to bed... then work on school stuff (only two nights a week) and spend time with hubby
  • Try to keep things organized and cleaned up on a regular basis so that I don't have to spend hours cleaning and organizing.  Make a menu each Sunday.  File things away as bills are paid, etc. 
  • Have a house cleaning night and spend an hour or so cleaning bathrooms, vacuuming, etc... This is what we did growing up, and as much as I hated it as a kid, it was really helpful for our family.  Karis is at an age now in which she can help.
  • Make sure to have our evening routine every night so that the kids will get back to going to bed easily at night... we have gotten away from this and the kids are stress-balls at night.  
Once we move into our own place, things will be a little bit easier because at least one of us will live where we work :).  Robert will have an interesting drive, but he doesn't mind it at all (still better than when we lived in San Marcos and he was driving to Austin).  We will have our own space to put things, to be more organized, and the kitchen will be on the same floor as our living space.  All of those things are more difficult than I anticipated, but we'll survive.  Again, I am very thankful to my in-laws for allowing us to take over a good portion of their house... It's just difficult to not have our own space... with a family of 5... and not having a yard for the kiddos to play in :).  

Okay... I'm off to start the process of organizing and cleaning.  I hope I can get this done rather quickly so I can just enjoy the rest of the day!!

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