I'm finally beginning to find my place here... I realize it's only been about 3 weeks since we moved here, but it's tough to have a life when you're not completely unpacked and organized... and when you have no idea where anything is to start with :).
I am SO thankful to my in-laws for offering us the entire upstairs of their house to be here to have all the opportunities that we have. It has been amazing so far, and I know that there are so many things in store for our family! Thank you both!!
Figuring Out Who I Am
A few months ago I began a journey of finding out who it is that I am, not who I feel everyone else has wanted me to be. And I am happy to say that I am beginning to figure out who that is.
I enjoy eating and cooking whole foods... but it is no longer my focus. I am okay with doing things out of convenience sometimes. I have the gifting and passion for teaching, and it's okay that I desire to pursue this. I love being with my family, but enjoy some quiet time alone as well :). I enjoy a new local coffee shop that I found. I love that I have more time to spend with my husband. I enjoy music, a lot. God has been speaking to me through ways that I never would have expected. He is my ultimate provider and healer. He delights in me and me in Him. My goal and desire in life is to know Him and make Him known. I have a temper at times. I get stressed and frustrated when things aren't organized and when chaos exists. I enjoy reading and hope to find more time to do so. I enjoy writing. I enjoy hanging out with friends. I am excited about Stonebriar Community Church. It is taking me out of my comfort zone and showing me that the Spirit is not present in a style of worship. I've realized lately that my focus has been way off the past few years. I desire to see through God's eyes and to be more broken for people's souls and their situations. I desire to see past myself and my situation and love and serve others. I'm not perfect, though, and much of the time I struggle with being able to look past my struggles. God loves me anyway, and doesn't need me to do His work, and I'm thankful. We are all broken people and need Him.
As I wrote a couple weeks ago, I found a website called Spark People, and it has been a good way to kick back into the habit of eating healthy, though, I don't necessarily agree with their views of healthy eating completely. I have done too much research on whole foods nutrition to go back into the typical view of "healthy eating." So, I am using Spark People as a resource for good ideas for meals, but I am not going to follow it 100%. I didn't do a good job this week due to the fact that we were out of town last weekend and I didn't plan this week, but we've at least still been eating at home. I will definitely get back to planning a menu next week. Tomorrow, we're going to check out a local Farmer's Market that my in-laws told me about. It's called White Rock Local Market. It is held in the parking lot of a place called The Green Spot. I'm excited about checking out the farmer's market because according to their website, I should be able to find meat, butter, eggs, milk (unhomogenized), produce, etc there... which is the majority of what I need to buy! They are only there two Saturdays a month, though. One great thing about it is that it's maybe 10-15 minutes away. That's so different from what I'm used to! I used to have to drive about 45 minutes to the nearest farmer's market. I have also found a place in Plano that sells raw milk, from grass fed cows. I'm super excited about this because Plano is only about 10-15 minutes away as well! I will probably start buying raw milk in the coming weeks. I need to find out more information first.
I have decided that I will not focus in on my weight, how I look, the amount of calories I consume, etc, but I will focus on what I am putting in my mouth... making sure I am eating whole foods, and that they are mostly homemade. I still have some bad habits to get rid of (an occasional soda, occasional processed foods... these things are okay in moderation, but I can't just eat them anytime they are available). But I have an advantage here that I haven't had in a long time... no dining hall food to compete with! So, I should be able to rid myself of "bad things" with no trouble. My plan is to begin having a baking day again so that I can make things like bread, breakfast foods, etc again. I miss my homemade foods! And the kids have so much fun helping me bake/cook.
I do have to say that it really helps that Robert is able to help me plan and cook now. And he is pretty passionate about it as well (mainly because it saves money!), so it gives me the motivation that I need!
Okay... moving on... :)
All I can say is "thank you" and "wow" to this area of my life. I am humbled. Not all of the details are nailed down completely, but almost. A few days ago, I was ready to just decide to stay home. I was ready to give up the "perfect position" because it didn't make sense financially. I would be paying out my whole check in childcare and gas... so there would be no reason for it. Even though I wanted to teach some, I was content with just staying home and maybe waiting til next year. I finally gave up "control." It was at that moment that God reminded me, He has been in control the whole time... and all I had to do was let go and truly trust Him. Late Wednesday afternoon, I got an email from a friend that changed everything. She said that she read my blog that day, and wanted to offer me free childcare so that I can work. What?! Did I read that correctly??!! Free childcare?? From someone that I trust?? And know?? And goes to my church?? No way! So, I read it again. And re-read it. And ended up texting and then talking to her on the phone. Sure enough. I read it correctly. Turns out, she has never had to pay for childcare and wanted to return that favor to someone else. She wants to serve someone else in the way that she has been served. All I can say is, what a servant of the Lord. To give up her freedoms to watch my kids so that she can help me out... just amazes me. I just can't even begin to express how much of an answer to prayer this is.
After I received this email, I decided to call the person that I interviewed with at Wylie. One of their concerns was being able to pay me enough to pay childcare and gas... because they can't really change what they pay me. So I told him about the amazing provision that God has given, and he was amazed and excited for me. He told me that he can't officially offer me a job yet because he hasn't talked to the principal (she's out of state!), but he and the other person that I interviewed with feel very confident in me teaching there and are excited that I am already "seasoned" in the University Model. He said he'll get back with me as soon as he can to give me more details on pay, etc. So, most likely everything is going to work out perfectly!! WOW. I am truly amazed. I would never expect for things to work out as they have, but God is giving me the desires of my heart... and I am so thankful... and totally giving Him the glory! Only He could work things out the way they have worked out. What a blessing.
So not only do I get to teach, it is still only part time (I will be off Tuesdays and Thursdays), it's 8th grade English (and middle school art and strategy games), and it's at a University Model School.
We'll actually have some routine. Being at camp, routine wasn't even in our vocabulary (except the lack of). This is just such a great time for our family.
Robert will be enrolling in probably one class at a community college this semester, and the goal is to take an online course if at all possible. We'll see how that goes :). We wanted to get up here and get settled in, then focus in on school for him :). It'll be a few years before he can truly focus on it, but we at least wanted him to get started.
I'm amazed at how well the kids have been doing here. They struggle with some things at times (like not having a yard, not seeing their Granny and Pawpaw as much, and not being at the camp), but ultimately, they have been flourishing. The thing is, we have so many more opportunities here than we had being at camp. The library is very close. The park is down the street. So, pretty much every day, we go do something outside of the house... and it's not costing me a fortune to do so :). We don't have to spend money to get out like we used to. We take a picnic lunch to the park and we eat, then play. We go to storytime at the library. We go to church every Sunday and they get to play with other kids exactly their age and learn a Bible lesson. We hang out with my friend Tammy and her 3 year old son (that has become their second home lately!). And soon, they will get to play with our friends' four kids, often :). It's a great situation for them!
What a great birthday today! I have SO much to be thankful for!!