The word of my life this year has been change, so I'm not surprised that MY plans have changed, yet again.
As I have written in the past, God has been teaching me a lot about submitting to my husband. As much as I try to fight what Robert wants, God reminds me constantly that He has given him the role of leader of the household for a reason... Robert typically knows what's best and knows me better than I know myself.
When I received the email from Wylie with the job offer, I was excited because what I had planned seemed to be coming through. But, there was a little part of me that wasn't settled with this. I couldn't sleep that night. I woke up the next morning just expecting to receive a call that day from her with more information (I still didn't know my salary, etc) thinking that maybe I would feel more settled, but when I didn't receive a call/email by about 5:00, I was getting a bit discouraged (she said she would call/email after 12:00).
Robert didn't seem to be all that excited about my job offer, but he was trying to be supportive of me because it appeared as though I was really excited about it. You see, I thought this was God's way of providing... but did I really talk to God about this? No. I just made assumptions that because I had the offer, that it must be the right job for me. I mean, it was exactly the position that I wanted (or at least thought I wanted).
I received a call that evening that through me for a loop. I've already discussed the details of this position, but it was this call that began to change things in my mind and heart. It was this call that allowed me to do a lot of discussing with Robert about what he thinks, and allowed me to process through a lot of my fears.
I ended up receiving an email with my salary later, after the call from the charter school. I began to do the math from that email, and even though we wouldn't have to pay for childcare, after gas, I still wouldn't really bring anything home.
Last night Robert and I sat and discussed everything. We discussed what my passion in teaching truly is, and what our reason for moving here was. Through that discussion, we made some decisions.
1) If our reason to move here was for Robert to go back to school, then I am going to have to work full time to be able to pay for school, books, etc. As long as we're living with my in-laws it's fine, but if we ever want to move out on our own, then I'm going to have to work full time.
2) If I'm working at Wylie, I will be bringing very little home... it would be quite a bit of stress and it wouldn't really benefit our family financially. So, even if I don't end up with a job at all at this point, that would be better than working (quite a bit) for almost nothing :). I would be working 9:50-3:50 MWF, plus all of the planning and preparation that happens at home...
3) I'm going to continue on with the pursuit of a full time job. The charter school is still in the process that has to happen before an interview is scheduled... so I should hear something pretty soon about that. If that doesn't work out, then I'll continue applying for other positions. If I don't get a job, oh well. I'm putting it in God's hands, knowing that I am following my husband's lead, and God will provide when He feels it's time.
4) I feel more passion for working with kids that don't have resources than I do for working with kids at a UMS. As much as I like the part time aspect of the UMS, I don't feel like I have much to offer them. God has given me a heart for poor children for a reason... and I want to use the gifts that He has given me to make a difference in the lives of children. If it weren't for the call that I received from the charter school, I wouldn't have processed these things. So, even if nothing comes from that call, a lot came from the call in my heart.
As I was typing this blog, I got a call to schedule an interview. It will be Monday morning. I will update as I know more!