Friday, February 21, 2014

Healing

Well... I had my interview yesterday.  The interview itself was fine, but I really felt uneasy from the moment I walked in.  It just didn't seem right.  I don't know how to explain it except that I didn't feel peace about it.  From the moment I walked in, to the moment I got home.

The one thing that really threw me off, and was pretty much a deal killer for me, was the fact that they wanted me to work every weekend, all weekend.  Friday-Sunday, 7-7 1/2 hour shifts each day.

At first, my thought was, "well, I'd be home all week then."  The problem with this is that my family is not home all week.  So I wouldn't see them much.  Or get to do anything with them.  Except the evening routine.

Robert and I talked yesterday evening and we both felt that it wouldn't be a good fit.  In fact, all retail will be that way.

I expected some weekends, but not all weekend, every weekend.

My family needs to come first.

We began to look at things, and we realized that we could possibly make it without me working.  It will take living very tight, and we will both have to pick up some side jobs.  But if there is a month that we can't get much side work, we'd make it... we would just be on a very tight budget :-). 

Robert was super excited and supportive of this.  He feels that I need to focus on getting better, and he was just at peace with it all.

So, I'm now open for tutoring, and I'm working on my Childbirth Education training more than ever.  Robert is also picking up side jobs!

God's got this.  He knew in advance that I would have to quit my job.  He knew that I would have to focus on healing and that it would take a lot of time.



Last night, I went to a more local Celebrate Recovery, and it was amazing!  It was a perfect fit.  It was organized, helpful, and loving.  I decided to sign up for their step studies, and I begin a week from tomorrow.  I bought the books and special Bible for it already.  I'm committed!  I felt that this was the best way for me to recover and heal, on top of going to my counselor regularly.  I want my healing to be God-centered!  This is a good way to do that. 

I'm looking forward to see how God is going to work the things out that I don't understand.  He has a purpose and a plan for His glory, and I understand that it's really all about Him.

Until next time...

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