After a lot of prayer, seeking counsel, and talking with Robert, I have decided to stop the outpatient program that I've been going to.
I always left feeling super stressed, and yesterday my blood pressure was high from it.
I talked with my therapist for a long time today. She played "devil's advocate" for a long time and after that, we decided that it was best to go ahead and change my "after care."
Instead of outpatient, I am going to be doing three things: 1) Individual counseling a few days a week, 2) Group therapy through Celebrate Recovery and Grief share, and 3) See my psychiatrist regularly.
The BIGGEST issue with the outpatient program is that it isn't faith-based. The inpatient program is, the outpatient isn't. Without Christ in the center, I can't heal. Without Christ in the center, it is depressing and hopeless. Without Christ in the center, there's no point.
I'm moving forward and I'm excited about this decision.
The first thing I did was go to my psychiatrist. She agrees with the possibility of Bipolar II and she's treating me as such for now. We'll "keep an eye on it." One of the medications that I was already on can be used for Bipolar, so she said I should be set on that for now. She also thinks I'm on too much medicine, with which I agreed. We're going to give my body some time, then start weaning off some of it. Thank the Lord! I knew I was taking too much. With hospitalization, they tend to over-do it a bit.
Tonight I'll be going to my first Grief Share meeting at church, and I'm a little nervous, but think it'll be so good! I'm so glad that it's at my church; that's makes things easier. And before we do that, we get to eat food as a family that is being brought to us :-). Our church family is AMAZING!
Until next time...